


A Sharp Intake

by CityOfScreams



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Childhood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Spock, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Spock, No Sex, Spocks bullys, Xenophobia, cute bones/spock relationship, kirk sort of romantic when spock goes back to normal (whenever that happens), no romantic relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-05-31 17:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 19,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6480286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CityOfScreams/pseuds/CityOfScreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk wishes that Spock would be a little more human and thanks to helpful aliens (the aliens are not helpful) Spock is temporarily reduced to a child, as his speed ageing passes him by he re-lives what he’s already experienced and the scars are clear to see. With Spock growing up a second time around humans will he finally begin acting more human?<br/>Theres a lot of Spock bones, there is also Kirk/Spock (later)<br/>I low key ship everything. But this is about Spock as kid, so the ships aren't really there that much.<br/>-</p><p>Mentions of Spock being bullied. Spock a bit bruised up and cut. Not graphic. (Mentions/scenery of self harm.)<br/>------<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

No mission, would be a mission on the enterprise if it went smoothly. Sure some would be peaceful, but if it wasn’t mystical food they had to eat, or an allergic reaction, or the beautiful child of the leader of a world, then it wasn’t no mission of the enterprise. That was when things were good. Other times they’d be held hostage or the security team would be killed and that was bad. That was really bad. Then there were other times. Regardless of the mission something would happen, a helping of the flu, flowers that spewed sex pollen, or just an accident, and the life of one crew member would change forever. Living on the enterprise you had to take the good with the bad, it would put you through sickness and health, it would shape you, for better of for worse. 

For Captain Kirk he had this particular mission nailed down to be type A, friendly aliens ready to join the federation, that didn’t have any taste buds. Kirk and his first officer were approaching the minister for their final reports. Spock had been particularly Vulcan recently and it was beginning to grow on his nerves. Not the fact that he was Vulcan, but the fact he reminded him of the fact, like he was brand new to human culture.  
“The fact that aliens often appear similar in features is a scientific improbability. Humans alone have varying taste buds by culture and diet, hoping for an alien species to have tastes similar to yours-”  
“Oh, come on Spock, you know what I mean” Kirk said as they approached the alien minister.  
“I just hope for the improbability that they have some nice alien burger. Sometimes I just wish you’d act a little less vulcan. I know your perfectly capable of it, and that you know full well what I mean.”  
“Illogical, as I am a vulcan.”  
“You know what I mean” Kirk sighed as they approached the leaders of planet O, bringing their conversation to an end. The species O, were a fair species, light purple in hue, but mostly appeared humanoid, but their ears, and noses which they lacked. The mission was a simple meet and greet, a culture share. The mission went smoothly. Captain Kirk, had agreed to meet again one last time with the world leaders on the next day to discuss how they would set up talks of an alliance with federation, they were unable to discuss such matters at the time, as it was coming up for they’re evening meditation. Somewhat vulcan in the meditation, but the mediation was used more like prayer, to thank the planet they lived on, for allowing them to do so.

The government of O had gracefully put together a box containing some of what they thought would be the most interesting natural plant life for the scientists to catalogue. Kirk had gifted them in a most human way, with chocolate, champagne and some fresh fruit from Sulu’s garden. In starfleet, they used to gift dogs, cats and guinea pigs, hoping the friendliness of the animals would show what kind of people they are. This practice had been quickly cut short due to the fact that most species could not feed, nor knew how to properly care for the animals, and whether the purring noise they made was a sign of aggression. They would, usually, have an early death, and in a way that really had said something to a few of the aliens that had received these honest guests. It had not said anything good.

The real trouble began, the next day. Spock, had failed to report to duty. He was fifteen minutes late. Kirk got up from his chair.  
“Sulu, you’ve got the comm” Kirk said as he headed for the lift. He made his way to Spock’s quarters ringing once, as the doors were locked. The doors were only locked while Spock was sleeping, and at finding this Kirk began to worry. Using his override he made his way into Spock’s quarters. His room was decorated with general vulcan things, although, some could say it was cluttered.   
“Spock, are you in here?” Kirk called quickly looking around before making his way to Spock’s bed. What he saw there made him freeze in the doorway.  
“Oh you’ve got to be shitting me.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Where the hell did you get that?” McCoy’s voice loud and booming as Kirk approached the medical bay, hugging a black blanket around his chest.  
“I think it’s Spock.”  
“Why the hell would it be Spock-” McCoy said he met Kirk in the centre of the room, scanning the baby “what the hell - I swear to - where did you get Jim?”  
“He hadn’t reported to the bridge and I found him in his bed.” Kirk said. McCoy took the baby wrapped in a black shirt and laid him on the sick bay bed.  
“Well he seems to read okay, a little cold, although he’s really tiny I mean, for a baby vulcan, this is a ridiculous size for Spock. I’m going to do some tests. Check it really is him. Nurse, we’ve got a baby, can we get some clothes?”  
“A baby?” Nurse Chapel asked as she came to investigate “how did we.. get a baby vulcan?”  
“It could be Spock.” Dr McCoy told Nurse Chapel. Nurse Chapel looked from McCoy’s baby blue eyes back to the baby.  
“This is commander Spock?” She asked stunned.  
“I’m going to go ahead and say he’s not fit for duty” McCoy said shaking his head.  
“What am I supposed to do without Spock?” Kirk asked half jokingly, half not.  
“Jim, if you don’t mind me saying, I suspect vulcans do not usually turn themselves into babies, perhaps you should see if our new friends know anything about this?”  
Kirk sighed “what am I supposed to do ask them if they purposely changed my commander into a baby?”  
“Jimbo, thats a captains job to work out, and certainly not my problem.”  
“Well, thanks for being so useful Bones.” Kirk said and made his way out.

It took the whole day before the crew beamed back up, and it took until the next morning until the captain had gathered the main crew in the conference room. McCoy was late, but Kirk began without him. Kirk addressed the room.  
“We have gathered here today due to a most unfortunate circumstance.” Kirk said. Uhura gasped.  
“Is Spock dyeing?” Uhura asked concerned.  
“What? No. No.” Kirk said as Bones entered the room, carrying a much bigger baby with him, Nurse Chapel closely following.  
“Awww-” some of the crew cooed  
“Our new friends, in an attempt to help us, have turned commander Spock into a child.” Kirk said. Jaws dropped.  
“They turned him into a baby?” Uhura cried.  
“Iz this even possible?” Chekov asked.  
“Well this is Spock” McCoy grouched sitting with him on his lap “that I’ve checked.”  
McCoy sat cuddling Spock on the chair, next to Sulu. Tiny Spock reached out with grabby hands towards Sulu.  
“Hello Commander” Sulu said “wait, does he remember who he is?”  
“Well thats what I’ve brought you here to explain, as, if McCoy can’t create some sort of medicine to reverse this, given the possibility that Spock reacts to what the O call Sharp Juice, the same as all O, he could be like this for thirty six days.”  
“Thirty six?” Uhura gasped.  
“I’ve always thought Mr Spock could use a holiday.” Chekov said.  
“Well, actually Jim, it would be thirty-five days now.”  
“Okay, so, since it could be a while. Spock, will remember his day today life, but not past the age that he looks. So I guess he currently has one years worth of memories. He will age one year every day until he is five, and then he will age every two days. He will reach the O adult age of 21 and then return to normal.”  
“Spock, I’m Nyota, can you say Nyota?” Uhura asked. Baby Spock looked at Uhura, still and uncertain, already remarkably vulcan.  
“I don’t think he can talk.” Scotty said.  
“Maybe he only understands vulcan” Sulu suggested. Uhura shook her head.  
“No, he’s bilingual. He’s been speaking standard as long as vulcan.”  
“Yet he can’t understand idioms?” Kirk asked.  
“Well if his mother didn’t use them that much he just wouldn’t have encountered them. Besides, I take it you haven’t had many conversations with other vulcans. Anyway vulcan babies supposed to be able to talk before human ones” Uhura said.  
“Well, he is half vulcan” McCoy said “and so far I haven’t heard him make a sound.”  
“Is that … normal?” Kirk asked.  
“I haven’t got a clue. But, I’m sure he’ll let us know, and he does read healthy, although Nurse perhaps you should take him back now.”  
“Yes Doctor” Nurse Chapel said taking him in her arms, his tiny hands outstretched towards her face.  
“Watch it” Dr McCoy pulling his hands down away from Nurse Chapels head.  
“Does he have to go now?” Scotty asked “he’s so wee, I don’t think I’d mind his company.”  
“No” McCoy said “he’s to small to be around this earth type climate. I’ve had to change the gravity settings, and climate controls in one of the sickbay rooms for him, otherwise it could cause too much stress on his body.”  
“Aw, will he have to be there the entire time he’s a kid?”  
“Just until he’s five. By that point there shouldn’t be too much damage that can be caused, and certainly none that wouldn’t be undone when he gets back to being an adult. I think.”

“Captain” Uhura said, her hands folded neatly in front of her.  
“Yes?”  
“How did the O think this would help us?”  
“Oh” Kirk said “well, they over heard me talking with Spock. The O, use this Sharp Juice, for two things, the first one being, is to usually help people get to know each other and build up quick and strong relationships. They seemed to think we didn’t get along very well.”  
“Oh I can’t imagine why” McCoy said.  
“Whats the second reason they use .. Sharp Juice?” Uhura asked.  
“To allow a person to relive a childhood since, according to the O, that is a very special time. Although that said they don’t usually give it to just anyone, it’s seen as an honourable gift, and only those that have suffered life threatening accidents can ask not to experience when offered.”  
McCoy’s huff blew across the table like a hurricane “Jim why are only those that have had life threatening accidents excused from this honourable gift?”  
“Well, Tsch told me that they do experience all their old injury’s like they do experience there memories. They don’t constantly experience their memories, just like, every few hours or so their mind updates with a few weeks or months events. If say Spock got like a cut on his hand it could be gone within the hour or even minutes of him getting it.”  
“And if he experienced something worse?” McCoy asked.  
“I don’t know” Kirk said “he’d be hurt for longer? Was he hurt?”  
“Well I don’t know, but I suppose theres no time like the present to go digging through decades of medical files. Could you just imagine for a second Jim if this had happened to you?”  
“That would make it pretty hard to captain the Enterprise” Kirk nodded.  
“What about allergies? Do those count as injuries?” McCoy asked.  
“Mmmm” Kirk nodded thoughtfully “I guess you’re going to find out.”  
McCoy’s clenched squeaking teeth could be heard from across that table “thanks.”  
“It’s not like I did this to him” Kirk said defensively “Sulu, you’re going to be temporary Commander. I will take another landing team down today and see if I can get any samples of this Sharp Juice, as well as finishing my talks with them. Dismissed.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Have you got any-” Kirk began to ask walking into McCoy’s office.  
“You only got me the Sharp Juice yesterday night. Dammit Jim, no I haven’t created a miracle cure, less figured out how this works.” McCoy said. Kirk sat on the chair opposite McCoy.  
“So, how is he?”  
“I’m sorry Jim, but I’ve got to be brutally honest with you” Mccoy said sitting up and looking Jim in the eye. Kirk sat bolt up right.  
“What is it?”  
“It’s Spock he’s… He’s pretty cute.”  
Kirk grinned “no, really? You think he’s cute? Can I see him?”  
“Well this isn’t helping me find a cure at all” McCoy said standing up and pulling his blue jumper off, leaving on the black undershirt.  
“Um?” Kirk asked at his stripping  
“You might want to take that off, it’s pretty hot in there.” McCoy said, as they both walked out his office towards the private area. Nurse Chapel walked greeted them as she exited the room fanning herself.  
“Any change?” McCoy asked.  
“No, he’s just been pulling the toys apart. I’m going to take a brake.”  
“Of course, don’t forget to get a drink.” McCoy reminded her.  
“I’m more than capable of remembering that, Sir.”

Spock was sitting in a mostly empty room but that of a med bay bed and the toys around him. There was a large, plastic tree that at some point was supposed to make noises, but had been split in half. The electronics had been gutted from the toy and laid neatly to the side of it in a row, as well as the screws. A pad, for children designed only to play games had similarly been pulled apart. The only thing that hadn’t been pulled apart were several puzzle's ranging from six pieces, to one hundred pieces most which had been put together. One which Spock was still in the process of putting together.  
“Hello Spock” Kirk said kneeling down in front of him “my names Jim.” Spock looked up at him with huge dark eyes, that seemed, almost a little too big for his face. Then he went back to the puzzle.  
“As far as I can tell he’s healthy, he’s got some pretty extensive medical records for while he’s a child, as he is the first human vulcan hybrid. Although some of his records have gone missing because of the, you know, with the um…” McCoy trailed off eyeing Spock and he motioned his hands in a way to show an explosion.  
“Oh - right-”  
“Yeah. But what I can find of his results are showing up the same.” McCoy nodded.  
“Well, at least the juice isn’t reacting badly with him” Kirk said “are you having fun?”   
Spock looked up. He tilted his head to the side for a moment and gave a tiny nod.  
“Okay.” Kirk said quietly.  
“Spock, why’ve you taking this apart?” McCoy asked picking up the pieces of what was an electronic pad. Spock looked up for a moment but again only nodded and returned to the puzzle.   
“He’s not very talkative” McCoy said to Kirk who was staring “three and still not talking are you?” McCoy asked Spock in a fatherly voice that couldn’t help but make Kirk smile.  
“Although he might just be shy. I don’t know, if vulcan children get shy, but I guess so.”  
Kirk wiped the sweat from the top of his “yeah. Weird. God it’s hot. I should go.”  
“Yeah” McCoy nodded as he stood up “I’ll bring you some more games in a moment Spock.”  
Kirk walked out the room followed by McCoy “it would sure be a hand if you could send down me ensigns to help watch him, it’s hard to be in that room for long.”  
“Sure thing Bones.”


	4. Chapter 4

Doctor McCoy got up that morning, like he had the last two days. He got dressed, and knowing, that Spock would likely be awake already, he made his way to Spock’s medical room. McCoy found Spock sitting cross legged on the med bay bed, a blanket around part of his back and covering his lap, in his hands in front of him was the game pad from the previous day. He had put it back together and was playing with it.  
“Good morning Spock.” Spock who had noticed his arrival nodded and pulled up his small discarded clothes from the bed, holding them in the air for a second before returning to his pad.  
“Are you not even going to say hello to me?” Dr McCoy asked. Spock put his hand up in the usual vulcan salute.  
“Mmm” McCoy hummed thoughtfully picking up a scanner as he walked over to Spock. Spock, picked up clothes that were too small again and hit them back down on the bed again looking up at McCoy.  
“I was taking it you remembered me” McCoy said “I will get you some new clothes after I do my scans and check that you are not literally dyeing, nor have you got some sort of childhood scrape thats going to make you bleed to death.” McCoy could swear he saw Spock squint annoyed, and head clearly tilt staring up at him.   
“And here I thought I was tired of hearing you talk.” McCoy said scanning Spock. He frowned.  
“Did you fall over at some point?” McCoy asked him. Spock stared up at McCoy.  
“Oh don’t give me that look. I know you can understand me, it’s a yes or no question.”  
No reply. McCoy looked at Spock’s back to see a few tiny scrapes on his back. Nothing big. Just three scrapes, no bigger than two inches.  
“Did you fall over on.. mountains does vulcan have mountains?” McCoy asked.  
Spock nodded.  
“Okay. Wait. Is that a yes to falling over or a yes to mountains?”  
Another nod.  
“Your doing this on purpose aren’t you?”  
A shake of the head, but a tiny quirk of the lips.  
“Mmm. What on earth- Hold on a second.” McCoy said shocked as he began to stare intently as Spock’s face. He had dark marks beneath his eyes and over his nose. They stood out on his pale face.  
“You’ve got freckles. Freckles!” McCoy said excitedly.  
Spock put down the pad he was reading and put both his hands over either cheeks. McCoy's face lit up with a smile.  
“Well you can’t hide them from me I’ve already seen them.”  
A squint.  
“Okay, well, I’m going to get you some clothes, and the equipment to heal those scrapes, so don’t go anywhere. Okay?”  
Spock nodded.

 

They had breakfast together in the room, McCoy, took the active talking part, as he quickly re-explained that he was suffering an injury. It was the first time he explained it properly. Mentioning that he was not really four years old, although McCoy was still uncertain how much Spock understood. He seemed intelligent but was still young, and would only nod in replies.   
“I tell you what though, this whole non talking thing, there is no way I am not going to ask older you about this later. Are you just stubborn? Can you physically not? Are you shy?”  
A tilt of the head.  
“That is exactly what I’m talking about” McCoy said picking up his plate, and Spock’s empty bowl “anyway. I’ll see you for lunch I’ll send nurse Chapel in soon.”  
McCoy took the bowls over to the door only to become horribly aware that he was being followed. It wasn’t the noise he made, and he didn’t stand too close. It was just, an awareness.  
He turned to the boy who stayed silent “and where do you think you’re going?” Spock touched the door with a hand. McCoy sighed he lent down on one knee.  
“It’s too dangerous out there for you, the atmosphere, and gravity could hurt you. It’s not that I want to keep you in here. Do you understand?” He asked.  
Spock nodded.  
“Good” McCoy said, as Spock took a step to the side. McCoy opened the door to let himself out, and Spock ran.  
“Spock!”

It wasn’t purely that his vulcan speed would force the adults to run, but the timing of his escape had gone perfectly with the closing of the elevator doors out in the hall. By the time McCoy had put down the bowl and plate, he could see no sign of where Spock had went. Had he gone in the completely closed elevator, or had he run down the hall? For Spock on the other hand it was a different story, he had got himself stuck in the elevator with a very surprised young man. A man with curly hair, and a yellow jumper.  
“Hello Mizster Spock” Chekov said. Spock looked up at the man, but stayed mostly still.  
“Where are you going?” Chekov asked curiously.  
Spock did not reply.  
“Do you remember me?”  
Spock shook his head.  
“My name is Chekov. I am going to Sulu’s lab, it has lots of plants like a green house. Would you like to come with me?”  
Spock thought for a moment still eyeing Chekov wearily. But he nodded his head, as the lift came to a stop.  
“Come on then Mizster Spock.” Chekov said leading him down the hallway.

“Sulu? Are you in here?” Chekov called as they walked past pots of plants.  
“Yes? I just had to water my-” Sulu stopped watering a very spiky flowering cactus, a watering can in one hand, and cup of coffee in the other.  
“Hello Spock” Sulu said putting the watering can down, Spock greeted him with the vulcan salute, which Sulu mimicked back.  
“Why do you have him? The Doctors going to be angry.”  
“I found him in the elevator” Chekov said “if anything I am hero.”  
Sulu pouted for second with a nod “I guess.”  
Spock walked up to Sulu and his cactus, which a flower head had emerged from, seemingly animate. Spock pointed at it questionably.  
“Who this? This is Mr Benjamin.” Sulu introduced Spock. Spock reached out his hand, but looked to Sulu before moving to close.  
“Yes! Yes you can touch him, he’s very nice.” Sulu said excitedly and stroked the head of the flower. Spock stroked the flower. The flower moved pushing itself into Spock’s hand.  
“He is very cute” Chekov said “nothing like when I was child.”  
“What?” Sulu asked amused “do you expect me to believe you looked anything other than adorable when you were a child?”  
“You do not understand” Chekov said “father vould straighten hair and give bowl cut for school photography. I look awful.”  
Sulu snorted “wait, no. No. I’m not believing that,= who give’s a bowl cut?”  
“Father vould say bowl cut good, bowl cut inwented in Russia.”  
“What do you think Spock? Bowl cut invented in Russia?”  
Spock shook his head, his attention still on the flower.  
“Maybe bowl cut was invented on vulcan, right?” Sulu laughed.  
“You not know true horrors of bowl cut” Chekov said pointing to Spock “that is short hair and tiny fringe bowl cut leave trauma.”  
At this Sulu had doubled up with laughter, Spock stopped stroking the flower as he paid careful attention to the two humans.  
“This not funny Sulu, very scarring for me, I not able to show cute childhood photo.”  
“What on earth going on here” Nurse Chapel bursted in, she didn’t shout but her sudden appearance had been enough to make the three jump.  
“And why haven’t you returned Spock to the medical bay?” She asked walking past Chekov and over to Spock.  
“I not know he lost” Chekov said.  
“Well he’s not supposed to be in here it’s too humid. Come on Spock” Nurse Chapel said holding out a hand for him. Spock tugged at Sulu’s trousers hiding behind him.  
“Aw I’m sorry Spock, maybe you should go with her.” Sulu said.  
Slowly Spock walked out from his hiding place and stood next to Nurse Chapel, her hand still held out.  
“You’re holding my hand. You’ve already run away once, and I know it is perfectly acceptable to hold a vulcan child’s hand so come on.”  
Slowly he took her hand and walked out of the room, hearing a small call behind them of  
“Goodbye commander!”


	5. Chapter 5

McCoy felt the morning was becoming routine. Although there was certain to be some hazards later in the day. Last night McCoy had left Spock some new clothes for when he awoke. McCoy had decided that what little pleasure he could get out of putting Spock in human clothes, he should. He was however a doctor and he was not going to let him be fully humiliated. Nevertheless, seeing a vulcan wearing jeans and black trainers seemed unusual although that was not the desired clothing to humiliate, the t-shirt he had chosen was plain and simple, but that of a bow tie. He could not chose bright colour because Spock complained it hurt his eyes. It was becoming apparent McCoy had little in the idea of how to humiliate him. He was not a person of pranks. That was why he had Jim.  
“Good morning Spock.” McCoy said that morning walking in, as a very short breeze ran past him.  
“Good morning Doctor.” Spock said, dressed and already out the room.  
“Ah- ah wait a moment” McCoy said grabbing ahold of the back of Spock’s collar “and where do you think your going?”  
Spock looked up with his big dark eyes “out.”   
“What- no. No. We need to do your exams.”  
“I am five I have no exams due.”  
“GET In to the Medical Bay.” McCoy said guiding Spock back in the door he had left.  
“This is unnecessary.”  
“Would you mind sitting on this bed Spock, so I can check you aren’t dyeing. Do you remember my conversation from yesterday? Do you remember anything from when you were older?”  
“I am Spock, I remember what you said yesterday, and I have all my memories up to the age of five, and I am informing you that I am not dyeing.”  
“Well you’re not a doctor, are you? Let me check.” McCoy said, already regretful Spock could talk.

With some reluctance Spock sighed jumping back on to the medical bay bed. McCoy looked up noting the scanners. After a while of frustrated tutting he said:  
“Well you seem healthy.”  
“Would you prefer if I were not?”  
“Could you stay in here, I need to speak to the Captain for a moment.” McCoy said.  
“I’m perfectly capable of that Doctor.” Spock said. McCoy nodded and left the room.

The doctors office was starting to pile with plates. Not too many, but enough, here and there, no doubt someone would come to clean it up. McCoy having delivered the news paced back and forth near the bookcases behind him. Kirk stood the opposite side of the desk, his hands on his hips.  
“Kidnapped?”  
“Yes, but thats not the problem, he wants to go out, but I don’t know how he’s going to remember what happened to him. His medical file describes him as being stressed with minor injuries and malnutrition-”  
“It’s weird. You kind of just expect to know these things about people. Kind of ridiculous really. I imagine at the very least I should know that, but I never do. How long did the kidnappers have him?” Kirk asked. McCoy stopped pacing.  
“Six weeks.”  
“Jesus fucking christ - six fucking weeks? Like that would scare the shit out of me - he’s a little fucking kid.”  
“I don’t know how long that is for him now, he could be affected for twenty minutes or twenty hours. I don’t now what to do.”  
“I guess thats why he don’t scare easily.” Kirk said.  
“Jim.” Bones said.  
“Have you tried making a-”  
“Jim, we can’t cure this, we’ve just got to wait it out, and I really don’t want to be on baby sitting duty the entire time. But for this I will be. But do we let him go out and have the crew see him. I mean if I had been in that position I would have been crying like - like a baby - he is a baby Jim, a tiny tiny baby.”  
“Bones” Kirk said putting his hands up in defeat “I doubt anyone would hold that against him, he’s five, he looks cute.”  
“But then what do I do? Hug him? What if he remembers and just stands there screaming for two hours? What if he-”  
“Bones I know.”  
“Do you-”  
“Bones” Kirk yelled “I hate to steal your phrase but, lets, cross that bridge when we come to it.”  
McCoy stopped in his tracks as he took a deep breath “fine. Fine. So what do you want to do with him, I don’t want him going around talking with the whole crew just yet, and I can see it could become a lot harder to keep him in that room if I tell him he’s not allowed out, and then he might, I don’t know do anything. He’s already made one escape and was about to try it again. I’d rather that we know where he is if he’s out.”  
“Well, I could show him the bridge. I’m sure he’d love that. Maybe. Like he loves it as an adult right? Or at Bones - Bones - maybe he’ll find it fascinating.”  
“Get out of my office Jim.”

Kirk and McCoy walked out of his office to find Spock in a stand off with Miss Chapel, outside of his private medical quarters.  
“Well that doesn’t sound very logical to me Mr Spock” Miss Chapel said.  
“Your lack of understanding of logic is of no consequence to me, excuse me please.”  
“Spock, I thought you said you were going to stay in the medical quarters.” McCoy said.  
“I said no such thing.” Spock said. McCoy opened his mouth and then closed it. He looked up to the eyes of Kirk.  
“Well, he’s yours.”  
“Well theres no need to be grumpy” Kirk said and crouched down so he was the same height as Spock “Spock would you like to see the bridge?”  
Spock eye him curiously “your attempt to replicate my height is unneeded as I can hear you talking even when you are standing.” Kirk sighed and stood up.  
“Spock would you like to see the bridge of a starship?”  
Spock thought for a moment, his face squishing in thought “that would be satisfactory captain.”  
“Really Spock? Call me Jim.”  
“Understood.”


	6. Chapter 6

The bridge, a room full of white everything light so no one can slip into sleep. Sterile was the second thing Spock noticed, it smelt, sterile. With so many humans and so much work, where would they ever find time to have the room cleaned so thorough so as to smell clean to a half vulcans nose? Undetectable to Spock was the slight fumes of todays working humans, nothing strong or over powering. It wasn’t like a stranger sitting down next to you on a bus and it was nothing repulsive, it was the smell of a worn jumper. Sure it could be gone, but on this jumper, this smell, this is comfort, this is home. That was the smell of the bridge.

Kirk’s hands lightly held Spock’s as he gazed in wonder wandering in, down the small steps to the circular wooden chair where Sulu sat.  
“Captain?” Sulu asked looking down at Spock a question in his face.  
“Stay where you are Sulu, we’re just, investigating, aren’t we Spock?”  
Spock nodded “yes Captain. Can I sit on the chair?”  
“I - I asked you to call me Jim. Don’t you like my name or something?” Kirk asked confused.  
“It does not have an aesthetic” Spock said, and Sulu chuckled.  
“Have an aesthetic?” Kirk asked frowning “I don’t think you’re using that word correctly Spock, but, I know for certain your name is certainly not aesthetic. Sulu, would you mind letting Spock sit on the chair.”  
“Not at all Captain” Sulu said with a grin and moved down to his navigator seat, giving a side grin to Chekov, although it was clear at this point people were paying little attention to their jobs.  
“I have much prettier names” Spock said jumping up in the chair at an angle so that it began to turn “your tongue is simply too ugly to pronounce it.”  
Kirk sighed turning the chair back so it faced forwards “well I know quite a few women who would disagree with you.”  
“They would be wrong to do so.” Spock said.  
Kirk who had reached a new emotional level whispered “this is not the job I signed up for.”

Uhura, flicking at some switches and pressing at some buttons turned to fully face them both.  
“I hope we’re not disturbing you” Kirk said.  
“Oh no Sir” Uhura said with the tiniest of smiles “in fact I think I’m working better. I think I’d work better still if Spock told us about his week.”  
Kirk shook his head but smiled “well Spock why don’t you tell us about your week, it could help my crew work.”  
“Doctor McCoy has been holding me captive and forcing me into unnecessary medical exams” Spock said.  
“They are not unnecessary” McCoy grouched joining the crew on the bridge with Scotty “and I told you that-“  
“and I told you my life was not in danger yet you insist on scanning me anyway.”  
McCoy shook his head gritting his teeth “this, by the way, is what we will have to put up with for the next thirty days.”  
“I do not understand.” Spock said.  
“Forget it kid.” McCoy sighed.  
“Spock” Uhura said “do you, remember what happened to you, do you remember your past before enterprise?”  
“You are asking me to speak of the week, of when the enterprise was not yet made. I remember that as last week also.”  
“Great” Uhura said “could you tell me a little about that week?”  
Spock tilted his head “why would I do that?”  
“It’s… logical.” Kirk said carefully, as glances were passed to him.  
“How?” Spock asked.  
“It could… make people form attachments to you, which could help you to get the best out of your future.”  
“I see” Spock said carefully, although his expression said he didn’t see at all.  
“Are you going to tell us about your week then?” Uhura asked.  
“I suppose I have little choice in the matter-” Spock said.  
“Hey but Spock, only tell us the most important things from each day, or you know, the mistakes you made.” McCoy said.  
“You wish for me to tell you my mistakes? That does not seem logical.”  
“It is because of the thing Jim said.” McCoy said.  
“Okay. Well my first mistake was that I forgot to feed I-Chaya-”  
“Who’s I-Chaya?” Kirk asked.  
“My sehlat.”  
“You’re what?” McCoy asked.  
“My mother says I-Chaya is like a earth bear, although he has fangs and claws.” Spock said “my second-”  
“Wait, Spock you have to tell us what happened with the hungry, sehlat? Thats part of how this works.” Kirk said.  
“Oh” Spock said thoughtfully “I remembered an hour late about I-chaya, he was causing a mess, and I had to stand on the kitchen table and throw his dinner at his face so that he would not mistake me for his meal.”  
“What would have happened if he mistook you for his meal?” McCoy asked.  
“He would have ate me.”  
“What on earth- why- your five why would you be left to feed this bear, what kind of nonsense is that.”  
“Feeding I-Chaya at the correct time is done so to teach me responsibility.” Spock said.  
“And you forgot to feed it?” Kirk asked.  
Spock squinted “do not tell my father.”

“Did anything else happen of significance happen in your week Mister Spock?” Chekov asked.  
“Mmm, I hope my lovely crew are performing better at there current tasks than before I brought Spock up here.” Kirk said loudly and the crew, everyone of which was intently waiting for Spock to speak, turned back to there jobs. Giving quick glances behind themselves.  
“Something else did happen, although, I’m not sure what.”  
A tilt to the head and a frown had Kirk looking at Spock’s shiny hair “what do you mean your not sure what?”  
“Can you keep a secret?” Spock asked, and he sat with his legs slowly swinging back and forth, not in what would show happiness, but more, it resembled a human twiddling thumbs.  
“No” Kirk said.  
“AWww Captain!” Chekov cried.  
“I can keep a secret” Uhura declared.  
“You can ask an older Spock about secrets. Come on Spock” Kirk said “lets go get some lunch.”


	7. Chapter 7

Spock sat opposite Kirk, besides McCoy, joined by Scotty. Kirk was eating a sandwich, the contents of which are irrelevant, and close to what the food pretended to resemble, that but the slight aftertaste of cardboard, which, for anyone not working on a starship, would be recognisable immediately. Spock ate a small bowl of twisted pasta covered in a green pesto sauce, this too was irrelevant.  
“Spock, whats your secret?” Kirk asked now that they were in a slightly more private area.  
“Which secret?” Spock asked “besides, you said you couldn’t keep a secret.”  
“The secret you were going to tell on the bridge. I promise I could keep it now.” Kirk said.  
“Sometimes I dream” Spock said slowly stabbing at his food. Kirk, with relief, allowed his shoulders a little slump as he took a bite from his sandwich.  
“I thought it was going to be something serious” Kirk said.  
McCoy nodded with a slight smile “I can’t imagine Spock has many secrets, just things he hasn’t told us, apart from that, you know. Besides I can hear him whispering in his sleep sometimes?”  
“What’s he whisper? Math?” Kirk asked.  
“Nonsense” McCoy whispered back with a wicked grin only a sleep eavesdropper could have.  
“If you ask me I reckon everything in Spock’s past is a secret” Scotty said.  
“I said that” McCoy said defensively.  
“No you said he has a past he doesn’t talk about, which makes it seem like he has secrets. I say he has a past he doesn’t talk about because he’s got secrets in his past he needs to keep.”  
“He’s just vulcan” McCoy said oddly in his defence.  
“Nah, I bet he did something shifty, what with strangling you on the bridge, no offence captain, and then hunting down Kahn, by the way did you see the damage he did to him? Nah, I bet he’s done something awful.”  
“He’s going to remember that when he returns to normal” McCoy said.  
“Aye, and he’ll defend himself or admit it.” Scotty said “I’m just curious, mind you if I accidentally fall out an air vent in the next month or two, I’m telling you now it ain’t an accident.”  
“Scotty thats enough of that. Commander Spock is your superior, he has earned that place and you will respect him.” Kirk said.  
“My apologise Captain” Scotty said wide eyed.  
“What am I like?” Spock asked looking from Scotty to Kirk with big eyes “when I’m older? Am I, unable to control myself?”  
“What? No, god no” Kirk said “I mean if I were you, I would have lost it so much more, what happened was just this odd one thing, and you were under a lot of stress, and it was my fault. Your a good vulcan, you’re logical and nice.”  
“Nice?” Scotty asked.  
“Well he isn’t a mean vulcan, is he?” Kirk challenged him.  
“I suppose not directly.”  
“You are to me.” McCoy said “mind you, you still are even now. You just keep insisting on making my job that little bit harder.”  
“Your job is your responsibility. I do not see how I am making it harder than it already is.” Spock said.  
“Enough, enough please.” Kirk ordered.

The eating was silent. There were questions that wanted to be asked. Like an apple tree with fruit, ready for picking, if you could collect a ladder high enough, the tree might even think that the pickers were giving them attention, crawling over their branches for apples. But in the end all the pickers want of an apple tree is the fruit, without it, they will leave, and the tree will enter winter and the leaves from branches will fall, and the tree will hope, she survives this winter alone. McCoy was not a fruit picker. McCoy was a doctor.  
“What do you dream of?” McCoy asked.  
“If I do not mediate for long enough I dream of dragons.”  
“Are they good dragons, or bad dragons?” Kirk asked.  
“A dragon has no knowledge of good or bad. A dragon is only hungry, and the only food I carry in my dreams are upon my bones.”  
“Well. I can see why vulcans don’t dream now.” McCoy said “I’m going to be honest with you Spock, that wasn’t such a secret to me, I’ve seen the odd rare mumble your give in your sleep.”  
“I still dream as an adult?”  
“At the very least a little” McCoy said “only when you’re injured though, and not had time to mediate.”  
Spock nodded “although my dream was not the secret I meant of, dreaming just happens around the time I notice.”  
“Notice what?” McCoy asked.  
“It’s a secret.” Spock said.  
“Did you tell your parents about your secret?” Kirk asked.  
“I did. Father told me I was dreaming, that I was being illogical, that I should control myself, that there was nothing but me in my room, and occasionally I-chaya.” Spock said and his fork slipped from his handing landing in the middle of his pasta. He pulled it out again.  
“Lad, is ye secret dragons live in ye room?” Scotty asked light heartedly, whatever he seemed to suspect of Spock, he did not seem to show it in hate.  
“No. Vulcans.”  
“That would be ye, lad.” Scotty said.  
“I am not vulcan, I am half vulcan. There are other vulcans in my room under the bed and in my cupboard, they hide beneath my window ledge. They leave spies in my books.”  
“Well, I did wonder what a vulcan child was like, I’m glad i’ve got my answer” Scotty said.  
“That, can’t be true Spock, has your mother or father searched for these vulcans?” McCoy asked.  
“They did. They do every night I ask them to.”  
“What do they find?” McCoy asked.  
“Nothing, vulcans cannot fit under my bed. But they are there.”  
“Maybe you are having too many dreams, that does sound like a nightmare” McCoy said “that would be a logical explanation.”  
“It would be one explanation. It would be logical. But it would be wrong.”


	8. Chapter 8

The screaming began four thirty in the morning. It started with a sniffle, the tiniest of whimpers. You know that noise those sad dogs make? How it almost sounds like a mechanical ding and it just shreds your heart to hear it? That was the whimper. Then, it was the screams. Inhuman screams, vulcan screams. Nurses from the night shift rushed into help calling McCoy as they did so. When McCoy rushed in to the room, his hair a mess and hands ready to heal, several nurses had been pushed on to the floor.

Around Spock’s eyes was dark green skin, and cuts battered his arms and face. He was breathing fast his hands around his knees.  
“Spock, Spock” McCoy said rushing to him and pulling him into a hug “it’s me. It’s Doctor McCoy. You’re okay now.”  
McCoy held him close his face pressed into his jumper as the small figure shook. McCoy could use all the knowledge he had on children having nightmares, but he knew it wouldn’t work for this. McCoy tried several times to prise Spock’s arms away, only so he could treat Spock’s wounds but his grip was just too strong. In the end it was the nurses who healed his cuts, that McCoy now recognised were in the shape of a belt. By the time the cuts where healed the bruises had healed themselves leaving only the scars across his body, and shivering form.  
“What are we going to do?” Nurse Chapel asked “maybe we should just put him to sleep.”   
“Put him to sleep?” McCoy began defensively.  
“Unconscious until he’s older.” McCoy’s hand stroked Spock’s black hair.  
“No.” McCoy said sitting on the med bay “he’ll just have nightmares.”  
“I didn't think vulcans dreamt.” Nurse Chapel said.  
“He’s five and half human. I’ll just wait with him. Nurse you may go back to bed if you wish.”  
Nurse Chapel petted the top of Spock’s flinching head “sorry. Okay. Don’t you forget to get some rest too.”  
“It’s the only thing I will be doing.”

* * *

“Morning sleepy Bones.” Kirk whispered, sitting on the chair by the edge of the bed. One of McCoy’s eyes opened alarmed as he saw him.  
“Jim.” McCoy greeted.  
“You know I just thought you should know” Kirk said pointing from him to the sleeping boy “you look adorable.”  
“It’s not funny. Look at this” McCoy said gently moving his sleeping head so he could see the scar across Spock’s cheek. A thin white line.  
“Is it bad?” Kirk asked.  
“I mean, considering it could have been a lot worse. Jim, I was not prepared for this at all. He was malnourished and bleeding. He got hit with what I think was a belt seventeen times. I could, no, I would strangle whoever did this to him.” Kirk was silent for a while as he chewed the inside of his cheek.  
“Shit. You healed him this though so he should be fine by now right?”  
“Fine? I mean he’s fine when he’s older, sure, but for him, in his time line, this only happened a few weeks ago.”  
“Vulcans recover quickly though, right?”  
“I’m not waking him up.” McCoy said, and he didn’t. When the time came, that he needed to use the toilet, and he needed to move and walk, he did so leaving Spock quietly sleeping on the bed. When he returned not to much later he found Spock shaking, and crying.

* * *

He stopped crying. Eventually. In the dead of night, when his mind had caught up with his memories, and his body another inch. Wiping the grot that only seems to find it’s way to the corner of his eyes McCoy, somehow more tired than before he slept for fifteen hours saw Spock sitting on the edge of the bed. McCoy’s blue jumper was wrinkled with salt and snot which he pulled throwing on to the floor, leaving only his black one on.  
“Spock? You okay kiddo?”  
“I am adequate. Thank you Doctor McCoy. I apologise for disturbing your plans of today.”  
“Oh, thats fine Spock. You’re my patient. I would do anything for you.” McCoy yawned, swinging his legs down from on top the bed so he sat like Spock.  
“I take it you finally saw a healer? I mean, in your other timeline.” McCoy asked.  
“My brother Sybok helped me.” Spock said.  
“Oh.” McCoy said curiously “how was that? Did he perform some sort of meld?”  
“No, he just talked.” Spock said slowly swinging his legs back and forth.  
“Is your brother human?” McCoy asked.  
“No?” Spock said confused.  
“It’s just I didn’t know you had one, so he’s a full vulcan?”   
“I am the only half vulcan. I have.. also only just discovered I have a older brother. He came out of the mountains.”  
“He came out of the mountains?”   
Spock slowly nodded his head “he was raised by them. He told me I shouldn’t let fear control me. Fear’s got other stuff to do.”  
“I will have to ask an older you about this” McCoy sighed a whisper “raised by the mountains?Are you okay now? If you want me to stay, thats fine-”  
“You may leave Doctor” Spock said.  
“Okay. Okay.” McCoy said standing he rested a hand on Spock’s shoulder before embracing him. Spock froze up like a stiff cardboard block.  
“What are you doing?”  
“I’m giving you a hug.”  
“I don’t want a hug”  
“I know kid. I know.” McCoy said and patted his head “if you need me at all, at anytime, I don’t care if it’s in an hour, if your ten or forty eight. Just call me.”  
“I don’t need you.” Spock said firmly as though he was trying to stop a dog following him.  
“I’ll go. I’ll go” McCoy said and left, without defeat.


	9. Chapter 9

“I try to read.” Spock said standing beside the Captains chair. Not like when he was an adult, because he wasn’t, he stood closer, his eyes more trained on the stars and the private going ons of people.  
“What do you read, math?” Uhura asked.  
“Lord of the rings, Harry Potter, Alice in wonderland. Terran classics.” Spock listed.  
“Oh” Kirk said leaning forward on his chair “just the classics?”  
“I try, but when I begin reading them I remember I’ve already read them.” Spock said.  
“So what are you going to do for the next few weeks if readings not working?” Kirk asked.  
“Unknown.”  
“I could give you some books to read” Uhura said “they wouldn’t be classics, but they would be written in this decade.”  
“I need a purpose to read them.”  
“What purpose did you have to read lord of the rings?” Kirk asked.  
“History.” Spock said. Sulu glanced back to Spock and then to Chekov.  
“That was my favourite time in history” Sulu said.  
“Yes I was fond of the orcs” Chekov said.  
“I feel more like a hobbit, type.” Sulu said.  
“It is a shame that they went extinct.” Chekov said and Sulu giggled.  
“Mr Spock, perhaps you are related to Legolass.” Chekov suggested.  
“Captain, how are you allowing such illogical people, that think orcs used to exist, pilot this ship. This is a new level of illogic I have not seen before, and I find myself unsure whether this ship will survive for twenty eight days in space.”  
“Spock, don’t be mean, not everyone knows their books as well as me, or you apparently, nerd.” Kirk said light heartedly.  
“What?” Spock asked sharply.  
“Would you like to educate Sulu and Checkov on why Lord Of The Rings is historic?” Kirk suggested.  
“Lord Of The Rings is symbolism for the second world war.” Spock said.  
“Oh” Sulu rolled his eyes “good guys vs bad guys, I guess I should have seen that coming.”  
“I love reading for symbolism.” Chekov joked.  
“I do read symbolism in books” Kirk said offended “thats enough talking I’m sure you should be paying more attention to the ship.”  
Chekov gave a hearty chuckle “of course Sir.”

Kirk spoke to Spock quietly after that. They were quiet whispers about Lord Of The Rings, of favourite characters.   
“Captain” Officer Finnegan said approaching him from the lift with a paid “is it wise to have Commander Spock here given that, he is a child.”  
“He’s not working as the Commander right now” Kirk said with a smile.  
“Nevertheless I don’t think the bridge is the safest place for a vulcan.” Finnegan said his eyes glancing over the tiny vulcan.  
“Finnegan” Kirk said sitting up “it’s a quiet day, it is perfectly safe for him to be here.”  
“I don’t think it is-”  
“I will leave then.” Spock said taking a step back from the captain.  
“Spock you don’t need to do that.” Kirk said.  
“It’s fine. I’m well adapted to telling when I’m not wanted, I’m sure I can find something else to do.” Spock said and turned on his foot, walking past Finnegan with a breeze that even with his small height seemed intimidating.  
“Spock come back. Come on” Kirk called.  
“No” Spock said almost huffed as he entered the lift.

Spock was an adventurer. In the days before he’d go to the mountains, to walk deep into the desert finding what he could to survive with I-Chaya in tow. Today he wandered the halls of a starship. He started where he would always begin, at the bottom of the mountain. So the lift took him to the bottom of the ship.  
He snuck out the lift into a hallway of pipes, where his ears stung from loud shouting humans. No one noticed him as he stayed close the side of the walls. The crew in engineering was different from anywhere else on the ship. Hands on and intelligent thinkers, tinkers and inventors, it was of course officially professional work, but the lack of professionalism they had would not be seen nor put up with else where on the ship.

Knowing that if he were spotted he would be made to leave, Spock ran and crouched till he hid behind pipes and boxes. Some meters from him Spock spotted a group of humans leaning over an upside down box, made to be used like a table. They were smoking, and fans drifted the fumes away from themselves. A red shirt leant with cigarette in hand as he looked bright eyed at the other four around him.  
“So I said to him, maybe if you had the surgery on your eyes and not you dick, we wouldn’t even be having this problem.”  
His sentence ended with hearty laughter from the others, the sense of the joke, the story, a glimpse of documentation escaping the sense of Spock.  
‘Of course it would’ Spock reminded himself.

There were boxes piled high in the corner of the room. There were boxes piled high in most places, but the pile in the corner caught Spock’s eyes. The boxes left little more than a meter between themselves and the roof, but on the roof, was a vent. Perfect to climb into. Dangerous to climb into. The perfect challenge. So Spock ducked and rolled to the boxes, and began his climb. He did it slowly and he did it carefully but that wasn’t the hard part. Spock laid flat on the top of the boxes, he had perfect sight over the people. Groups and couples that walked, carrying tools and scanners, tapping at pipes and - Spock squinted. One man was placing duct tape around a leaking water pipe. Spock sighed shaking his head. He should probably mention how bad that is - when he’s older. That can’t be proper procedure. When he was certain no one was looking Spock began to undo the screw’s from the vent by twisting them with his hand. When all the screws were undone and he carefully and quietly pulled down the vent grid and put it on top of the boxes. He climbed into the vent.

No matter how quietly Spock tried to crawl he was sure he was making a racket. He was sure every time he moved his arm forwards the metal clinked and banged. He was sure a knee forwards sent a shuddering though the whole of the ship. After spending ten minutes slowly climbing forwards Spock rolled on to his back and rubbed at his head. He was sure when he came out where ever that be, there would be a group of people waiting to question him. To ask him what exactly he thought he was doing. Why he had opened the vent. What the purpose of doing so was. This was why Spock had stopped. What was his explanation? He had not words he could say to those people. To the Captain, to McCoy. After a while, Spock rolled back around and made his way forth deciding to keep a vow of silence when they found him, because they would. He was certain.

The vent ended at a grid looking in to a dark room. It wasn’t fully dark, there were large windows that looked out in to space, and space lit his way. It took a while for Spock to realise why he couldn’t see anything in the room. There was nothing in the room. Spock slipped his fingers through the holes of the vent to unscrew it. But his fingers, from this side, weren’t long enough. He was stuck. He took a deep breath, and carefully turned himself around. Laying on his back with his feet facing the vent he gave it a few solid kicks. At the fifth kick the vent flew off the wall. Spock escaped. Walking over to the vent Spock picked it up. The screws were still firmly attached to the vent as were a large portion of the wall. Sighing Spock stood on the middle of the vent attempt to straighten out the mess he had made. The vent actually straightened enough to be passable so he carefully balanced it back on the wall. He took a few steps back examining the vent carefully. No one should notice unless they got close.

The room discovered was dark, and empty. It was some sort of unused, perhaps even forgotten observation deck. Could things be forgotten on a spaceship? The door showed the most sign of life, and the door looked firmly dead, it had a bench against it and some other planks of wood. The entire place was empty. There were other vents but they didn’t really take Spock’s attention. Spock walked up to window and sat staring cross legged out across the stars. He wasn’t sure what he would be doing for the next few days, but at least he had found this. Spock laid down on his side, one elbow beneath his head. It wasn’t quiet, wherever he was, he was too close to the engine room still. But it wasn’t horrible it was a gentle purr.

Spock woke some time later, and he turned over on his other side as he watched the door shake. A crowbar shot through the centre of the door. Spock sat crossed legged silently watching the feat as fingers slipped between the door pulling it opened. There stood the Captain, McCoy, Finnegan and Uhura.  
“Spock!” McCoy was the first to push himself through he door “what are you doing here?”  
He ran forth, making Spock flinch slightly as he ran a scanner over Spock. Spock looked carefully at McCoy wondering if he should keep his vow of silence as the Captain rushed over.  
“Is he okay?” Kirk asked crouching.  
“According to this he is perfectly fine.” McCoy said standing up.  
“Spock, what are you doing here?” Uhura asked concernedly.  
“I didn’t even know this room existed. On my ship as well.” Kirk said looking around the room.  
“Was it because of Finnegan?” Uhura whispered.  
“Yeah Spock” Finnegan said in a carefree attitude “I’m sorry if like I upset.”  
“I’m vulcan. You did not upset me.” Spock said standing up, as he decided he didn’t like the attention he was getting.  
“Wait, Spock where do you think you’re going?” Uhura asked “you can’t just go off by yourself.”  
“Spock, I thought you had gone back to McCoy, do you realise what the ships been like since we discovered you missing? This past half hour has been chaos looking for you.” Kirk said. Spock looked at the people surrounding him. His way was thoroughly blocked. The vent Spock had propped up fell on to the floor with a bang, cascading dust surrounded it as the humans jumped to look at it. They turned back to Spock, looking for an explanation as he finished a yawn.  
“Oops?”


	10. 10

McCoy watched Spock’s face light up, although there were no smiles, there was an extra intake of breath. His eyes scooting in the sight of the seat, the bookcase, his room. But the light faded.  
“Whats wrong?” McCoy asked.  
“It appears cluttered” Spock said a tiny frown forming on his easily mistakable face.  
“Cluttered?” McCoy asked his eyebrows raising as he gazed around. It was not what McCoy would describe as cluttered. There were several decorative (he was assuming the decorative part) weapons on the wall. Two tapestries hanging, a wooden carving of a sehlat. Most of the ‘clutter’ came from the bookshelves which were stacked, a few old looking vulcan books, and some padds. The small area with a sofa and coffee table was the most cluttered with one book placed diagonally on the coffee table, in the centre was one plant. If anything McCoy would describe the room as being sparse and immaculately clean. All of it was ordered.  
“I can’t see anyway reason for me needing this many books.” Spock said.  
“Are you… are you going to call yourself illogical? Because I am fine with that, but can I get a camera first?”  
“No. And no. I was just expecting something more empty. I like it.” Spock said and proceeded towards the bookshelf.  
“Well, thats great. Anyway, I’ve got to get back to sickbay. Stay here and do whatever, and don’t wander off. Spock, Spock-”  
“Yes I heard you Doctor McCoy.” Spock said turning and using his very proper tone.  
“I know you heard me” McCoy said “but are you agreeing?”  
“I will not wander off, although I may explore some levels of the ship later on-“  
“Thats wandering off.”  
“If I do I will only go to the decks I am allowed, and I will not hide from security, I will not find vents and climb in them, I will not go to the docking deck and take a spaceship out for a test drive.”  
“Don’t do that.”  
“I just said I wouldn’t do that.”  
“Why would you say that?”  
“Because I’m not going to do that.”  
“Jesus christ, I am going to be grey before your thirty.” McCoy combing his hair back with his fingers, as he slowly began to back up towards the door “please be good.”

* * * 

McCoy met up with Spock at lunch, and they dined in the cafeteria. Unlike previous days the hall was busy with shouts and many of the crew. All were eating and in between the beats of feet hitting the floor Spock could hear the slurp of food into mouths, and splash of drinks and gurgle of bellies.   
“Come on Spock” McCoy called his head nodding toward the empty seat next to him. He was sitting with the rest of the bridge crew. Spock realised he had been standing still emerged in the audio. He walked forth and took the seat with his tray of food.  
“Hello Commander” Chekov greeted.  
“Hello” Spock said keeping his voice steady, but unsure if that really was the correct reply. He took to his food.  
“How old are you now?” Uhura asked  
“Eight” Spock said “how old are you?”  
“Spock” Uhura tsked “don’t you know it’s rude to ask some there age.”  
“Really?” Kirk asked “really?”  
“I apologise, I..” Spock cutting off stabbing at his food. He looked up to Doctor McCoy.  
“It’s fine apology accepted” Uhura said.  
“Oh that reminds me. We’ve got a new mission through” Kirk said and he squinted “it’s another meet and greet.”  
“As long as no one else gets turned into a child” McCoy huffed.  
Sulu smiled leaning across the table with the grin of a trickster “oh, Doctor, I’d love to see what you were like as a child. Were you anything as cute as Spock is?”  
“No. That’s it, I am medically ordering none of you are allowed to turn into a child.”  
“Well thats it” Kirk sighed dropping his knife and fork noisily on to a mostly untouched salad “there goes my plans for the week.”

* * *  
Spock’s bed was huge, and he was finding it a little hard to believe that he slept in it as an adult, that said, he was enjoying being eating by his blanket, it was much warmer compared to the rest of the ship and he quickly found sleep. He awoke some hours later, in the middle of the night, his lights on 15%, and sweat accumulating on the top of his forehead. It was a memory, or something that had just happened. It was an old memory of something that had just happened. Spock pushed the covers off himself and pulled off his jumper to see bruises forming on his back and along his side. Where he had been hit, by his peers. He gasped and held tightly to the blanket as he felt words being cut into his back.  
‘Half-Breed’  
Carved into his mind into his skin he took a gulp of breath as he remade his composure. He reminded himself as the new cuts already began to scab over, that had not happened today.   
‘Not real’ Spock whispered to himself, with that comfort he began to regain his composure. His regained composure slipped from him when he felt it trailing along his wrist. Similar to a bag being unzipped, or a spider scattering across him. Spock brought his wrist up to his face where green trails of his own blood bled out on to the bed covers. This had not been done by his peers. He had done this to himself. He was overcome with the strangest sense, that he once had, back when he had originally done this to himself. Yet while on the Enterprise, he realised this, this was not what he wanted, and he felt more purely the pain he had never felt when he did this originally.

Then they healed. The cuts scabbed over and the scabs turned to scars. Spock laid back down on the bed his head on two pillows either side of him. His chewed finger nails tracking the few remaining scabs on his wrist. Something settled over his heart. Something that gave him reassurance. He couldn’t tell yet but a meaning had settled in his heart. He felt like he was being crushed with a hug. His fingers still tracking the small scabs. This was  
this was

 

this

was

 

The comfort of his bed absorbed him and he tumbled back into the nothingness dream.


	11. 11

That morning Spock stood on a step Jim had brought him so that he could brush his teeth looking in the mirror. He was due a visit to McCoy that morning. That had been the deal that allowed him to sleep in his own quarters and he much preferred it, away from the prying eyes of nurses. McCoy seemed to feel better with Spock in his own quarters with the knowledge that Kirk’s bathroom was shared with him. So there he was, brushing his teeth with a green paste tasting like sour green tea and lemon. No mint for him. He spat the froth from his mouth, and he looked back up to examine his face. His teeth pearly white and his face, green. A deeper green began to flesh out from his nose, and grey bruises began to seep around his eyes. The rest of the marks on his body were gone, but recently they’d been targeting his face, and there was nothing he could use to cover it. Today he didn’t have a choice. The doctor would notice anyway.

There was a coo of awe’s and cute’s from the med bay room which led McCoy into awakening, which subsequently led to his bad mood. He pulled on his jumper from the desk pulling fingers through his soft hair as he walked out his office to greet Spock.  
“Good Morning Spock” McCoy said gently moving the nurses out his way.  
“Morning” Spock replied showing his bruised face.  
McCoy sighed grabbing his medical scanner “alright, off with you all, I don’t pay you to stand around. Especially not to coo clearly injured patients.”  
“You don’t pay us at all. Sir.”  
“Get out.” McCoy grumped leading Spock to a private area of the med bay. Spock sat on the end of the bed as McCoy scanned him.  
“What happened to your face?” McCoy asked.  
“I quickly became acquainted with the floor” Spock replied placing his hands on his knees. A tiny smile tried to claw it’s on to McCoy’s face as he spoke again.  
“Which means?”  
“Ah, I fell over.”  
McCoy shook his head the smile having made it’s way out “okay let me go get the kit for that bruise. Does that hurt any?” McCoy asked with concerned eyes.  
“No.”  
With the bruise soother retrieved (a mechanic device looking similar to a sonic screwdriver) McCoy turned it on and carefully scanned the light over Spock’s face. Over his cheeks and beneath his eyes. The bruises slowly began to fade from his pale skin before they were completely gone.

McCoy picked the grey scanner back up again and began to scan him again. A few lights flashing. He was just about to put it down when he saw bruises blossoming on Spock’s face again. Like a fungal disease that refused to settle down, they scarred across his nose.  
“Hey, are you okay?” McCoy asked worried his heart panicking in his chest. He was aware this sort of thing could have happened, yet he found himself helpless to heal a wound being made. It stopped and the guise settled on Spock's face, almost exactly like the one before it, but different enough. McCoy sighed picking his bruise soother back up.  
“You know, I’m a professional Doctor Spock-”  
“It would not make sense for you to be a novice Doctor-”  
“I know you didn’t get this falling over.”  
“Perhaps, now you’ve voiced that some of my respect can be restored to your work.”  
McCoy began to heal the bruises “Spock I don’t mean to pry, and I don’t want to make things weird for when you’re an adult again, but, if this is what you are currently experiencing I need to know you are okay.”  
“I am adequate Doctor” Spock said.  
“Who did this to you?” McCoy asked.  
“I hardly see how this is relevant” Spock said as he tried to move off the bed.  
“Hey I need to know I can treat you now” McCoy said holding his hand up and stopping him “you tell me what I want to know, and logically you will be able to go sooner.”  
Spock chewed at his own teeth staring up at McCoy “Stonn.”  
“Stonn? Is he an uncle of yours-“  
“Classmate.”  
“Vulcan?”  
“Obviously.”  
“Can I ask why he’s attacking you?”  
“I presume it’s because of the evidence I showed him.”  
“What evidence?”  
“Stonn implied that due to my ‘half breed’ status I was physically weaker than all vulcans and a crippling to vulcanity. This happened on a rare occasion when he did not have any supporters with him, so I showed him thirty-seven situations that presented him with physical evidence that if anything I was stronger than my size and age would represent by pure glance, and certainly stronger than him. He was hospitalised for a month and appears to be seeking revenge despite that being most illogical of him.”  
McCoy frowned with a hand to his face “thirty seven situations?”  
Spock nodded.  
“You punched him thirty seven times?” McCoy asked shocked, his eyes widening.  
“Thats a crude way of putting my evidence, but yes.”  
“Jesus christ Spock. Uh. Well. Isn’t there someone you can tell to stop this ‘Stonn’ guy punching you? He shouldn’t be doing this.”  
“The situation has it’s complexity’s.”  
“So, If I heal your bruises-”  
“It appears that in the short term these will keep reappearing” Spock replied.  
“Are you sure you’re not feeling any pain? Oh I don’t really want to let you out of here.”  
“The bruises do not hurt. I have control of the pain and I choose not to feel it.”  
“Right. That sounds like your in pain-”  
“I am not. Besides you already said I could leave if I talk.”  
“And I would give you something but, I might just make you feel worse so, if you say you’re okay-”  
“I am okay.”  
“Then fine. Now I know I haven’t told you yet but I had arranged for you to do some fun exercise today. Considering what you just told me I want you to go easy on Jim.”  
“Okay..” Spock said clearly not understanding. McCoy pressed his comm unit.  
“Jim, Spock’s ready for you.”  
“Oh, sure send him down then” Jim’s voice said.  
“Do you know where the gym is Spock?” McCoy asked. Spock eyes widened as though he was talking to a mad cat.  
“Obviously not unless you tell me” Spock said, despite knowing where the gym was, and only mishearing as to the position of the Jim.  
“Well, I’m sure you can ask the computers to lead you there.”  
“I can?” Spock asked surprised.  
“Yeah, off you go now” McCoy said. Spock frowned but followed McCoy’s advice. As soon as Spock left the room McCoy was commed Jim.  
“Jim, you’re going to want to clear the room out.”  
“Why whats wrong?”  
“Spock’s a little beat up. There are bruises on his face but it might be best if the whole crew isn’t there to stare."  
“Understood I'll make most people leave, there’s a few folk I want to stay around. Think that will be a problem?”  
“Thats down to you Jim.”

 

The gym. Half a bucket of sweat mixed with the motivation you lost in your boots last week, followed closely by panting, regret, confidence and tiredness. Followed closely by a pair of shockingly bright red trousers. Kirk wore the pants with a tight white top, showing muscles, and also the becomings of a belly. Spock informed of his exercise had made put on a pair of jogging bottoms (black, and elasticated around the feet) and he wore a thin black jumper, that kept him fully covered.  
“A jumper Spock?” Kirk asked spotting him.  
“It is… somewhat colder here than on vulcan.”  
“Oh right, I forgot- are you warm enough here?” Kirk asked concerned the room, which could give a person that failed to exercise goosebumps would suddenly hurt him.  
“It is sufficient.”  
“Ain’t going to get hyperthermia are you?”  
“It would take nineteen hours before hyperthermia would begin to be a problem for me.” Spock said.  
“Nineteen?” Kirk frowned with a raise of his eyebrows “well s- sugar, lets hope you never get stuck in here. How long would it take before it urm-”  
“Killed me?” Spock asked.  
“Well-”  
“Between thirty eight and fifty six hours.”  
“I feel this is something I should have been made aware of a long time ago. Anyway. I was thinking, how would you like to try your hand at fencing. I’ve message Sulu, so he’ll come down and fence with us later. But thats only if you feel like it okay buddy.”  
Spock looked up to Kirk, he now only had a lightly bruised face “I don’t feel anything.”  
‘Well if you have, a logic, to not want to do fencing.”  
“What that is fencing?”  
“It’s like sword fighting but it’s fun, and no one gets hurt.” Jim said “you and Sulu would occasionally fence when you were adults. But right now, we’re going to be warming up.”  
Kirk grinned “this is going to be fun, trust me.”


	12. 12

Chapter 12

The common room. Or so it was nicknamed, it was in essences more of a recreational room, not too far from the bowling alley. It was a relaxed room with long settees that tried to absorb you, bookcases of magazines and books from other planets. Chess sets and monopoly, checkers and the game of life. Pencils, pens, water colours. Clean blankets always in the corner of the room for anyone who ever felt colder.

Not that it was cold on the enterprise, it was the perfect temperature for the human body to function. Still some people were from hotter climates, and some from colder. Of course over the few years everyone had become used to the dead space temperature. Still that didn’t stop the occasional tired person from getting cold, and it didn’t stop the occasional tired person from becoming unbearably hot, as some do, some do.

For a moment I would just like to pull you out the story (yes I’m very sorry) but could you imagine if this was a British ship? I don’t know about you, but the working temperatures are just unbearable, by law they’re supposed to be so warm, and by law, likewise they are supposed to be so cold. But all the temperatures I’ve been around in a working environment are too goddamn cold. It will be the middle of bloody December and these godammn tea drinking arseholes will have every goddamn fucking fan turned on. I will - I have - had GOOSEBUMPS upon even inch of my fuckin body (places I didn’t even know I could get Goosebumps- and these tea drinking tossers are opening up fucking windows complaining about the heat - it’s fucking December it’s bloody FEBRUARY- I HAVEN’T SEEN HEAT IN TWLEVE YEARS! Arse holes. A goddamn british starship - the middle of fucking space - no heat but whats made from the heaters and these fucks would be turning on fans- theY’D BE OPENING FUCKING WINDOWS! Fucking shit heads. The poor vulcan bastards would freeze to death. ‘what do you mean your making tea? you’ve only just finished consuming your last one’ WELL I NEED ANOTHER ONE MR SPOCK IM BRITISH I NEED TEA IN MY HANDS AT ALL TIME- it’s not because a fuck likes the taste of tea - reality is it’s caffeine and a goddammn hot water bottle and you need a fucking water bottle all the goddamn fucking time because the goddamn fucking space windows are open. Arseholes. Anyway where was I?

So there - no really I am sorry about that last paragraph. I -

There were several windows in the room (they were closed because space is danger and disease,) so that if you found a seat to your liking, one that wasn’t too soft, and wasn’t too hard, but was just right, then you could spend your evening beside the galaxy. It was a magnificent sight, and for those that found themselves commoners of the common room had often come to note of the few officers who would spend there evening with a tea in hand, the stars for their gaze, and book to quieten their wandering mind. Spock had not found such a seat. He was sitting on the floor his back against a seat, blanket over his shoulders, with pencils littered around his feet and a drawing pad upon his lap.  
“You know you can sit next to us.” Sulu said.  
“Yes, Sir ve don’t bite” Chekov said. They sat next to each other on the couch, there were three cushions for each persons buttocks to space them from eachother. Even if Spock had sat upon the third cushion there still would have been a cushion and so space between himself and Checkov.  
“No thank you.” Spock said.  
“Are you mad at me?” Sulu asked “is it because I beat you?”  
The sides of Spock’s eyes scrunched in his tiny frowning way as he looked back up to Sulu “I am not mad, nor have you beat me.”  
“Vulcans are quiet literal” Chekov mused to himself.  
“Spock” Uhura called sitting on another settee with Kirk, opposite Sulu, there was a space between herself and kirk “why don’t you come sit up here?”  
“I am comfortable here. Besides, I would be likely to damage the seat if I brought pens up there.” Kirk who was mixed between reading a romance book and watching the vulcan nodded.  
“It’s true, it would be a mess” and he smiled “and then we would have to fine him when he’s older for graffitiing and ruining starfleet property.”  
“Don’t sat that, he might take you serious” Uhura scolded.  
“I wouldn’t mind” Sulu mumbled giving one side of the seat a hit “we could do with some new sofa’s.”  
“No” Checkov moaned “then we would have to wear them in again before they felt homey.”  
“You’re not supposed to wear them in, that just means they’ve been scuffed up and ruined.” Sulu said.  
“No” Chekov moaned “homey is nice.”

“What are you even drawing?” Kirk asked taking a sip from his cup placing it on a side table “isn't art illogical?”  
“Vulcans have art” Spock said “although I personally find some uniqueness to be rare. Most vulcan art is just copies of other well known art, and combinations of such. Apart from pre-Surak art. Although most vulcans do not copy pre-Surak art as it is forbidden and seen as emotional.”  
“What are you drawing then? Is it pre-Surak style?” Kirk asked.  
“No” Spock said sharply “I am practicing pencil techniques that I would use if I were to create art.”  
“Show us” Uhura said.  
Spock did not tsk, but his eyes, if you caught them did squint “here I have practiced the technique needed for fur.” he said and turned around his picture of what looked liked a bear.  
“And what does your practice art resemble?” Uhura asked with a smile.  
“My Sehlat, I-Chaya, as he is furry I have practiced drawing him.”  
“Your pet bear that tried to eat you?” Kirk asked.  
“He is not a bear, he is a sehlat.” Spock said sternly.  
“Who’s that next to I-Chaya?” Uhura asked.  
“This is brother Sybok, I had to draw him to.. help with perspective.” Spock said putting the note pad back on his lap.  
“Is your brother a vulcan?” Chekov asked leaning over Spock’s shoulder.  
“Obviously.”  
“If he’s a vulcan why’s he smiling?” Chekov asked.  
“Oh my god” Sulu said “Chekov you can’t just ask why he’s smiling.”  
“My father would describe Sybok as eccentric.” Spock said “he is thinking of embracing emotions.”  
“What?” Uhura asked “you get vulcans that embrace emotion?”  
“It’s rare, and they do not live on vulcan.”  
“What about you?” Kirk asked “are you going to abandon emotion?”  
“Captain” Uhura sushed.  
“No.” Spock said harshly “I am vulcan, and emotionless.”  
They were quiet. It was still but the tiny sound of a pencil being pushed back and forth scraping across the notepad.  
“You’re half human, are you not even going to consider being an emotional vulcan?” Kirk asked.  
Spock closed his pad seemingly calmly “you are implying my human heritage would make it impossible for me to control my emotions.”  
“No. No, I just, don’t you think you’d be happier with emotions?” Kirk asked genuinely interested.  
“Vulcans do not seek happiness. It is late so I am going to bed. Goodnight.” Spock said and walked out the door with his note pad.  
“Good night Commander” Chekov called. Sulu giggled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter I know, I was trying to finish this last night but I fell asleep! Gonna try and write another one tonight.  
> Sorry about the er. The. British starship thing I just. I had to just come back inside when I had finished writing it and was raining all yesterday and I was cold and my spiky hair got flat, it was very sad -  
> also it like fucking snowed this morning. Fucking Snowed. bitch I am ready for spring and summer and y'all giving me fucking snow. I'm trying to grow cacti.  
> Also I've made an cityofscreams.tumblr.com acount I am only using that one for fics so send me whatever you want there. 
> 
> I do enjoy all the comments I've been getting (I've got a fanfiction account so all the stuffs been adding up)  
> I was expecting to tops maybe get five people that silently followed and like my stuff... so this is.. good. I guess I'm going to have to finish this fic now. Honestly the only reason I started writing this is because I wanted to read it and I was like UGGGGH GOD WHY HAS NO ONE WRITTEN THIS FIC DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF.  
> now I can of feel like I'm doing a community service. And am also being peered pressured into finishing it (ah, it'll help me practice I guess)
> 
>  
> 
> I've read a few other fics with de-ageing stuff but... if you want to me send me any.. I would greatly appreciate it .......... like ao3 and fanfiction if it mentions it in the summary I've probably already read it. Apart from that I havne't...also if the stories like 3000 words and 2000 of them is characters fucking i'm not interested.
> 
> like if you send me them to my tumblr and with like a super depressed spock, or a spock gets turned in to a kid, or a surprise spocks got this massive emotional brother called sybok look at him...   
> \--- ahh i'll update tonight (try)


	13. 13

It happened again to Spock while he was brushing his teeth. The same as it had the day before, and as it had throughout the day. Spock spat out his toothpaste and pulled up his sleeve. Cuts were forming, carving there way up his arm again. His memories hurt and his arm began to ache as it dripped green blood. A forth cut went into his wrist and was dragged up his arm again, deeper than any of the previous ones he had done before. He gasped as the pain shot up his arm, and then the cutting stopped completely. Spock stared concernedly at his bleeding arm as he waited for it to scab up again so he could wash away the blood. Green covered his arm slowly drizzling, and Spock began to feel sick with slight panic. Black spots covered his vision as he lost his balance and fell unconscious, bleeding on to the bathroom floor.

 

* * *

When he woke his limbs ached, his hand was damp and warm, his bed dipping in unusual ways. It was a fight for Spock to get his eyes open and when he did, his mother was there, her face seeped with tears and eyes red.  
“Spock” she whispered her voice hoarse. Her eyes clung to his features as she smiled, her facade crumbling as she tried. Yet her feeling, her emotions they roared through him grabbing and holding on to him tightly with everything they could possibly have, or had. He took a breath. Spock blinked guilty watching his sobbing mother, he held her hand tighter, as she clung on to his.  
Kirk glanced up to Spock who was blinking with blurry vision, he was holding tightly to his hand.  
“Spock, Spock, oh thank god.” Jim said quickly caressing his face as he stood up “Bones. Bones! He’s waking up.” McCoy grabbed a tricored as Spock blinked his eyes slowly closing again.  
“Hey” Jim called his voice an echo and Spock blacked out.  
“Spock!”

* * *

“I’d like to leave now” Spock whispered sitting on the bed, his legs hanging over the edge. He began to pick at the bandages that wrapped from his wrist up to his elbow.  
“Hell kid” Bones said sitting next to Spock “you’re lucky Kirk had to go on shift in the morning, do you have any idea what would-”  
“Please. I know. I know.” Spock said looking up to McCoy “it’s been a week for me.”  
“Kid” McCoy sighed with a frown, as Spock began to pick at his bandaged arm “I wasn’t even aware of this. I can’t just ignore this. Not to mention Kirk. You didn’t see him but god, when he came in here, he was such a mess, I have never - you’re - you’re just a kid.”  
“It’s not like I did this. This was me from another planet. What made me do this wouldn’t happen here. At least, not like that. I mean” Spock whispered “sometimes I can hear people talking about my vulcan ears and stupid hair in a bad way, but. It’s not like before, even though I’m young I get respect, at least I think I do, I think I’m getting that from a lot of people here. And I can get in peace with that. I’m not like I was. What happened here” Spock said holding out his arm “the person who did this to me, was a completely different person.”  
“But… it wasn’t, was it?”  
“I - I just” Spock said as he slowly took in a deep breath.  
“Hey, hey” McCoy hushed slowly rubbing a hand over his back “it’s okay. It’s okay.”  
Spock shook as he gasped for breath before bring his fists up to cover his face.  
“It’s okay” McCoy said and pulling Spock into a hug, rubbing a hand lightly across his arm. His body shook as he refused to show his face. McCoy’s other hand barely touched as it stroked Spock’s hair.  
“It’s going to be okay.”

* * *

* * *


	14. 14

“Sarek” Kirk said holding his hand in the traditional vulcan salut “it’s nice to see you again.”  
“Captain. How long will it take until I arrive at Voi for discussions.”  
“Three days” Kirk said as he began to lead his way down the hallway. Are you interested in seeing your son while aboard?” Kirk asked.  
“That would be logical, for him.”   
“Indeed” Kirk said and began to walk beside Sarek, not quiet sure how to talk to the vulcan. It was one thing talking to a vulcan about business only, that was easy, that was what vulcans were for, as long as your business choices didn’t get too ‘emotional’ then everything was fine. But talking to a vulcan about business and his son, that under your responsibility got turned into a small boy? That was a whole ‘nother matter. Come to think of it, how did vulcan family’s even talk to each other?  
“Would you like me to guide you to your quarters? They on the third deck room 48. Or I could take you to see your son.”  
“Yes, that would be wise. How old does he appear to be now?” Sarek asked.  
“Thirteen.”  
Sarek stopped where he stood.  
“Thirteen?”  
“Yes. Why is there a problem?” Kirk asked.  
“No. Of course not” Sarek said and began to walk slowly beside Kirk again.  
“He’s not going to get kidnapped again is he? That was the saddest thing I’d ever seen - excuse my emotion. Or if anything, remotely similar to an injury is to happen to him again, a heads up would be good. You know, any type of injury.” Kirk said with a small shake of his head. Sarek glanced for second too long too long at Kirk.  
“I do not believe he had many more serious injuries. Although he often spent time in desert and mountains, and would often come back with scrapes and injuries from falls. He did not tell me but I suspect he often got into more fights with other vulcan children, but he did not get injured as seriously as he injured them.” Kirk nodded.  
“How does he seem?” Sark asked.  
“Oh urm, I guess-”  
“Today, how does he seem today.”  
“Medical checked him over-”  
“No. Something else happened a this age.”  
“Well ambassador” Kirk said containing and inner eye roll “if you’d care to be more specific.”  
“He lost his brother around this time.”  
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Kirk said.  
“Apologise are unnecessary. Spock blamed me for some time after Sybok’s departure.”  
“I hope you don’t mind me prying, but why?” Kirk asked.  
“Because I was the one to banish Sybok.”  
Kirk took in a deep breath as his inner monologue began creaming “I thought you said he died.”  
“A banished vulcan is worse than a dead one, it is traditional to forget such a being. I suspect Spock did not.”  
“Banished, so he was like a criminal?” Kirk asked.  
“Yes.”  
Kirk squinted at Sarek “it might help me, help Spock. What was he banished for?”  
“I won’t say. But it was only after I did so I saw how Spock could have taken it personally. Although he had chosen the vulcan way, and I found he was reacting illogically.” 

They stopped outside the doors of the recreational room, and Kirk took a moment to examine Sarek’s face. Still vulcan. But there was more playing on his mind. Often it’s easy just to assume who a person is and what it is they have done, and although on the majority or the minority some of it may be right, what is always missed are the things that make a person real. It doesn’t excuse their accidents or behaviour, but it is a solid uniqueness to every person. It isn’t always something big, it doesn’t have to be life threatening, it doesn’t even have to be something bad. They’re relationships and the hours spent training pets. Hours spent drawing or writing hoping to achieve a means to a goal. Sometimes it’s just a few minutes spent reading. It was only just occurring to Kirk that although he knew vulcans were people, he knew this he felt and believed it, but even so, he hadn’t the experience of seeing this in vulcans that worked jobs, apart from Spock on occasion. But he was half human. He assumed business vulcans, were just business, that there couldn’t really be anything big within them out of work.  
“Are you sure you want to go in there?” Kirk asked.  
“I lived with my child for many years. I am sure he will behave adequately logical in my presence.”


	15. 15

The room was crowded with a near silent type of murmur. The chatter was easily spoken over and near impossible to pick out. There were people playing cards and reading books, the room was mostly busy, but everyone still was in their uniform. A lot of people were looking towards a young boy he had made himself the centre of attention by sitting in top of the back of a settee, all the cushions around him abandoned by none willing to dare to sit so close. He had made himself the tallest person sitting in the room by sitting on top of the sofa (the part where people were supposed to lean their backs.) He was talking lively to the people around him, all of which where from the bridge crew.  
“And that’s why I don’t like dancing.” Spock finished what no doubt was an embarrassing story. Sarek looked to Captain Kirk, emotionlessly disapproving as he began to approach Spock.  
“Why is my son being allowed to make a fool himself in such an intoxicated state?” Sarek asked as the rest of the bridge crew stood to his attention.  
“Ambassador” McCoy said in his strongest politest voice, having previously met him “your son is not intoxicated.” The ambassador began to say something but stopped as an awfully skinny Spock stood, with a mild difficult in his balance.  
“And this!” Spock began loudly, pointing with both arms. He quickly recoiled his arms and managed to turn his voice into an although more logical tone, was not any quieter.  
“This is my father. For some reason he is still not dead” he took a deep breath pulling his falling fringe over his head “tho by now he must be over two hundred years-”  
“I’m only just a hundred.”  
“But maybe next year Father, maybe next year you shall finally pass away.”  
“I do not intend it.”  
“Bastard” at this the young teenage Spock, stepped, or stumbled forwards off the chair and landed in a slightly undignified heap on the floor. Sarek turned to McCoy who was quickly scrambling to pick up his tricorder.  
“My son is clearly intoxicated.”


	16. Chapter 16

The three of them, Kirk, Sarek, and Doctor McCoy had gathered around Spock’s bed, in the medical bay. McCoy was still in disbelieve, as he watched Spock’s unconscious body breathing.  
“But he would’ve needed to spend the whole day eating chocolate. Its nearly impossible to consume that much. And I am certain he did not each that much.”  
“It often seems that Spock has made it his purpose to make the improbable real. Yet I will not blame you Doctor, perhaps If Spock had got drunk in his past timeline if would effect him here.” Sark said.

“Did he?” McCoy asked disgusted as he gestured with his hand.  
“If he did, they certainly wouldn’t have informed me.”  
“Errgh. Shush” Spock mumbled in the pillow.  
“Spock” his Father said sternly. Spock sat up a with a squint on his face. Light brown freckles appearing on his apparently newly tanned face.  
“Father.”  
“Hello Spock.”  
Spock let his gaze drift over Sarek “you look old.”  
“Since your memory has been altered it would appear that my few decades of ageing seems sudden.”  
Spock watched him closely “where is Mother?”  
Kirk took in a very deep breath as his wide eyes turned to Sarek. McCoy took out his tricorder as he began to scan Spock.  
“Your Mother is otherwise occupied.”  
Spock squinted “with what?”  
“Stuff. Also I am working right now, but I will be sure to talk to you later.”  
“Father” Spock called as Sarek turned around and began to make his way out the medical bay.  
“Father please.” Spock called.  
“OH. Oh he’s just got to go, prepare some talks, with some very difficult aliens” Kirk said.  
“Speaking of which, Spock, you’ll be staying here overnight.” McCoy said placing a hand on his shoulder.  
“Aw what? Why? I’m fine” Spock moaned.  
“I’m sure you are but I want to make sure you are.”  
Spock pouted as he turned to Kirk “Jim.”  
“No, no no no Spock don’t-” Kirk begged.  
“Jim please don’t make me stay here.” Spock asked with watery eyes.  
“Aw” Kirk said looking at Spock who sat up holding the bed sheets.  
“Aw. Bones” Jim said “let him go.”  
“No. He’s staying for the whole night, and thats final” McCoy said and hypoed Spock unconscious.  
“You’re cruel Bones” Kirk said.  
“Do you want to spend a night here?” McCoy asked.  
“Goodnight Bones” Kirk yelled sprinting out the medical bay.


	17. Chapter 17

Doctor McCoy stood at the end of Spock’s bed as he finished checking over Spock’s scans.  
“Well you’re all good to go” McCoy nodded “in fact, as soon as you return to an adult, I’m going to logically prescribe some sunlight to you. I wouldn’t be surprised if you're deficient in sunlight vitamins” McCoy put down his scanner expecting Spock to jump of the bed and run off, or something similar. The adult Spock did that. Sort of.  
“Spock? You alright buddy?” McCoy asked as Spock laid back down on the bed “is there something wrong? Feeling sick?”  
“As I’m already an adult anything I do is pointless. I have no point to studying, so, I’m just going to lay here.”   
“Spock” McCoy said gently “you can’t just sleep for seventeen days.”  
“I can” Spock said.  
“You barely sleep one day a week I highly doubt you’re going to sleep seventeen days. You’re supposed to have fun” McCoy said putting a comforting hand on Spock's wrist. Spock flinched him off. McCoy looked concerned, but Spock pretended as though he hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary.  
“You’re not supposed to touch vulcans.” Spock said. McCoy sighed.  
“And vulcans don’t have fun.” Spock said.  
“Listen, I know you haven’t really seen Jim a lot, but you two always used to be around each other. What if I go get him for you, you could talk, and learn about each other, so that wouldn’t be waste. It’s good for a commanding officer to work well with the Captain.”   
“No. I’m sure he has some work to do anyway.”  
“Spock. Come on now. Jim would love to spend time with you, he has some spare.”  
“It is pointless.”  
“You know, Jim plays chess with you, and you don’t seem to think that's pointless.”  
Spock sat up with a squint “I play chess with him?”  
“All the time.”  
“Why? Doesn’t he lose?”  
“Well that's a bit rude” McCoy scoffed “and I actually think you may be the one with the losing streak.”  
Spock frowned and sighed, and then looked back at his bed, and then back at McCoy.  
“As an adult I loose at chess against a human?” Spock asked McCoy.  
“Yes.”  
“That doesn’t make sense, he’s human.” Spock said.  
“Hey now. That’s a bit rude, besides, your half-human too.”  
“But I’m half vulcan so I should be better.”  
“Well, that's just not how things work” McCoy said “you know what, why don’t I arrange for you two to meet up? Yeah?”  
Spock thought for a moment and then nodded “okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what this story needs? Jim and Spock, in the same room together. Talk to eachother.   
> Also I stared at a screen for three hours and this chapter isn't even very long.  
> Three hours.  
> I tried.  
> I'll try to use some describing words in my next chapter (nice.)


	18. Chapter 18

Spock was sitting on a chair that was a too big for him, and he was playing with a very tall chess set. It towered over him like his hopes and dreams. He would use the table to help himself balance so he could move a chess piece, and whenever he did this the set would move and shift about, threatening to fall down. So he made his moves quickly and took his hands away from the table as often as he could. 

Spock was playing chess with a man who was much older than him, seemingly at the moment much wiser, yet for a starship captain, Spock was well aware that he was very young, and from the way the other crew members around him reacted, it would seem he was not all that wise. From the other side of the table Kirk grinned.  
“Do you want a cushion to sit on?” Kirk (no he said call him Jim) said.  
“That is not necessary” Spock informed him.  
“No? But it’ll make this game much more enjoyable.”  
“I don’t find this game enjoyable, I am vulcan.”  
“Ouch” Kirk said grabbing at where his heart would be, had he no flesh and bones “okay then, Vulcan. It will make the game more enjoyable for illogical me.”  
“I fail to see how a cushion will make a difference to you” Spock said, as Jim stood up and walked over to a softer collection of seats. He picked up one of the cushions as he turned back to him.  
“Because Spock, I will be able to see your face, and I won’t have to deal with you looking at the chess board like it’s a skyscraper ready to crush you. Sit on the cushion” Kirk said and pushed it into his hands.

Spock grumbled as he got up, and placed the cushion on the chair. Kirk rolled his eyes as he took back his seat.  
“I fail to see how grumbling is logical for a vulcan. What’s the point in making word like sounds, if no one in the room can hear you?”  
“I wasn’t making any sounds” Spock said, as he sat down, now with a clearer view of the Captain.  
“Oh alright then. Still Spock, you can’t say you don’t enjoy chess with me. If you don’t why would you play with me?”  
“This is what I plan to find out, as I have not yet played chess with you” Spock said moving a piece. Kirk grinned.  
“Well okay then” Kirk said, and let out his killer move, Kirk was replaying a similar game with Spock, that he had already with an older version. Spock stared at the moved pieces.  
“I’ve got you stumped, haven’t I?” Kirk asked with a grin. Spock was staring intently at the board. He looked up to Kirk, and then back at the board.  
“It’s okay to admit defeat” Kirk said.  
“Hardly” Spock said and placed another moved “checkmate.”  
Kirk was startled and he quickly looked back down at the board. It was true he was in checkmate.   
“I well. Best out of three?”  
“I fail to see how that will accomplish anything.” Spock said.  
“To make sure you didn’t win on luck” Jim said “all experiments must be done three times for fair results.”  
Spock titled his head to the side “that sounds fair.”

They played another four games. The first two in which Spock won again, and then, the last two which he lost. At the end of the fifth game Spock sat pondering at the chess board.  
“I do understand perhaps, what another me could see, in playing chess with you. Most of your moves of predictable, even coming from books, but you change your strategic tactic at the end, beginning or middle.”  
“Yes” Jim silently cheered for himself “so I’m a good opponent?”  
“Perhaps a worthy one, Jim” Spock said as he stood up “it’s late. Goodnight.”  
“Oh, jeez, yeah. Goodnight Spock” Kirk said realising he had only four hours to sleep before alpha shift.

 

 

 

Other ways this chapter could have went:  
“I fail to see how grumbling is logical for a vulcan. What’s the point in making word like sounds if no one in the room can hear you?”  
“Maybe I was farting”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I downloaded an app - Its basically just a word tracker with a stop watch but it is helping me. So I'm getting my official writing down, And then I got this chapter done in half an hour. (This would usually take me like four hours, I'll try and stick with it, so, hopefully y'all get some more tomorrow (do not get your hopes to high though. I am a terrible person, in fact do not give urself hopes they r a mistake, and I have so much to do. But you know this apps really good so, I guess I'll try.
> 
> Also you can check out what your patrnous is on pottermore - BUT THEY TOLD ME MINE WAS LIKE A HIGHLAND TERRIER OR SOMTHING AND i like dogs just this particular type I dont (no offence theres a lot around me area and they are not chill) so anyway, fuck pottermor. That's not my patrnous. 
> 
> ALSO ITS AUTUMN AIN'T THAT NEATO.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pretty sure i spelt le matya wrong.

The red planet - a huge globe, hot to the touch, cruel and uncaring. Yet, to those who knew it, even with its limited resources, the planet provided for its offspring. Spock sat high in the mountains, as he looked down. His back to the vertical cliff, his feet hanging freely, a mile fall below to his death. He had taken off his small black bag, and lent it beside his leg. His bag which barely had room for a book, contained a bottle of water, a small rope bracelet, a pocket knife, and a few biscuits. If he were human, or if he were any other vulcan, he would worry about getting lost, and starving, but he was not. He knew these mountains, he knew the desert way back to his home town, and he knew what creatures to avoid. This was his home, more so than that town.

His arm began to itch again, despite knowing logically there was no one around, he still checked for nosey vulcans, seeing the sight was still clear, he rolled his sleeve up. His arm was covered in scars, most were healing. There were a few old scabs still bound to his arm. His chewed nails scratched at his arm, his arm itched like nothing he could control. To start with he had managed to find a comfort in his scratchings, which had led to him using objects on his arms, which had led to.. the accident. Yet his arm still itched, and he scratched with his fingers, but it did not help. Spock took a deep breath. This entire hassle, would not have come about if he could control himself. If he could simply block out this illogical horrible need to scratch. He rubbed his thumb gently up and down his arm, as skin flakes fell off him. Spock had checked, this was not an allergy, and apart from the itch, the cut and the scars, there was no sign that there was anything un-ordinarily wrong with him.

He felt it pushing through fleshy part of his arm, the urge to throw up, almost had him falling to his death. He looked at his arm, as he pressed one finger against his pale skin. Deeply he pressed upwards his skin moving, bend. It was small, but he could feel it inside himself, something hard. This must be what made him itch. Spock was suddenly very excited and hopeful if he could just - get whatever this was, if he could- then he could explain- he could tell his mother - they’d stop - they’d stop pitying. The others wouldn’t think he was crazy. Somewhere deep he worried a little, that this was something, part of his body - but he pushed those thoughts aside. He pulled out his pocket knife, taking out the blade and - he paused. He did not want to end up bleeding to death a mile up the mountain, in the vulcan desert. He carefully pushed the blade in to his arm. He pulled the blade out, blood pouring out on him nonetheless. He ignored the pain to his arm as he pushed two fingers into his green oozing arm, and pulled out the thing. It was tiny. No bigger than a LED bulb. It was a chip. A tracker, like they put in wild animals to understand their behaviour. He put the tracker in his bag. He pulled apart his jumper to use as a makeshift bandage. Still, Spock didn’t know what to do. Did his parents know about this? Would they allow this? Did his father think it was logical?

It was one thing to be forced to attend those receptive scientists that poked, and jabbed, and examined and experiment but this was - it was illogical to ask for it perhaps - but every other vulcan had their privacy - every one else needn’t ask for it, it was a given right. Why should his asking for privacy be a special need, when everyone else had it as a basic right. If anyone else wanted a chip, it would be unusual or strange, yet he already had one. It wasn’t like chips would help him if he were to be kidnapped, they only work on the planet surface, and most serious kidnappers would have blocking technology in their ship, so tracking devices were useless when it came to safety. But still Spock thought, picking up his bag and and placing it on his back. He could understand if they honestly thought they were doing this for his safety, but they were not. This was science. What does the half breed do? Where does the half breed go? Are his walking patterns unusual compared to other vulcans? Science. Science. Science. It wasn’t even accurate science. They would not count for his different living situation, or the fact that he faces xenophobia, or the fact that they tie him to a chair for at least three hours a week, if not longer, occasionally electrocuting him (he really didn’t understand that experiment.) Spock made his way down the mountain. Of course, he could tell his mother, and his father what he thought was clearly a violation of privacy, or he could carefully place the chip in someones house, and runaway. Or maybe he’d feed it for to an animal, something big and grizzly. He could collect bottles of his blood, cover the sand with it, feed the chip to le’matya, or some other creature that logically would be able to digest all sign of him with in twenty-four hours, and then, he could run away. Maybe he’d come back for his own funeral.

Spock awoke again, in his bed, where in the future he would be the commander of this ship. The cut on his arm was healing well. He turned over and went soundly back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 20, is just going to be him when he's an adult. Also the last chapter.  
> Also, this whole idea of Spock running off, and constantly staying out in the desert is practically canon. (That episode with Spock Mother TOS)  
> Which you know, it's cute, a lot of the time I see this touched on in other stories it's because hes doing vulcan stuff. I always thought it was a sign of how he was supposed to be a bit more human - you know know kids - off to explore and build secret tree houses - and dens and stuff - I suppose Spock just did that - but in the extremely dangerous desert.  
> Like Australians I guess.  
> Note:  
> I don't know anything about Australians.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

The observation deck was a plain room, but the few soft seats that were pushed to the back of the room. The window, that looked out into space, took up the entire room. It curved outwards into the unknown, each curved rectangle separated by thin black. Spock was there. He didn’t turn as Kirk walked in with a pad under one arm. Both his hands rested gently on the railing.   
“I didn’t expect to find you here.” Kirk said.  
“Were you looking for me?” Spock asked his voice the usual monotone, although he did not turn to look at Kirk. It was odd now, he’d been looking up at Kirk for so long the last few weeks, and yet, he knew if he turned to meet his face, he still would be.  
“I noticed you weren’t in the diner for dinner, but I thought you might be resting and didn’t want to disturb you. I was just looking for somewhere quiet to work.” Kirk said.  
“It’s late to be working.” Spock said.  
“Yeah, well I know. I just have some last minute reports.” Kirk said and stood next to Spock “nothing you’ve never done before.”  
Kirk looked outside trying to see what Spock was looking at, but there was nothing unusual outside. No shooting stars, or blackholes, just space, the unknown, and stars.  
“Shouldn’t you be resting?” Kirk asked.  
“Most likely. I should go to bed soon.”  
“Are you having trouble sleeping?” Kirk asked full of concerned “is it, because of what happened?”  
“To what are you referring?” Spock asked.  
“I - the - your-” Kirk began.  
“The kidnapping, the scientist, my planet, my people. Nothing keeps me up at night but occasionally strange dreams where I am a fish, and then, I am a bird.”  
Kirk frowned “well… I did wonder what you dreamed about. But I just want you to know, if you ever need to talk about anything, I am here.”  
“That is… kind of you, but more than unnecessary. Shall I offer my help to you, if you ever need to speak of your past on, that planet.”  
“Only Bones knows about that” Kirk cut in coldly.  
“Apologies. Sometimes you compare the chefs salads to being worse than the scraps on Taurus-”  
Kirk laughed.  
“And I don’t think anyone else aboard this ship would really be joking about that so freely, without a much more personal history.”  
“Okay” Kirk said “so maybe I haven’t really been keeping it a secret, but that’s different Spock. That was, well it seemed like years, and, I don’t think you - I don’t think a lot of people could ever imagine the type of pain I went through. But I just had, a blip in my past. You had a strange childhood.”  
“I believe the majority of people could refer to themselves as having a strange childhood. Or a strange life in general. But there is more. There is always more, I find, that often sometimes individuals who think themselves of normal do not realise all their unique positions. Opportunities taken or declined, and sometimes when people have a rather comfortable month, or even a year, they begin to think nothing unique will ever happen in their future. On the whole I find it makes their world rather drab. Not the way they live, more, just they way they think.”  
“That is in-depth.”  
“It helps when you’re a telepath.”  
Kirk nodded smiling “I sometimes forget that. There’s this whole other side of you that I can’t comprehend.”  
“No I think you could. If you really wanted to, it’s just too long, and as it wouldn’t affect either of our communications it is pointless. So it’s best in the short-term forgotten, which I’d rather, there are plenty of things about you I don’t comprehend and I rarely try.”  
“Thanks. … But Spock, you are going to be okay now, aren’t you?”  
“Currently I am, okay. But there are no certainty’s for my future, at anytime, in a hundred years my future remains unknown. In the short-term, as humans say, I’ll be content living in the now.” Kirk nodded his eyes barely leaving Spock’s face.  
“And illogically I hope my past won’t pop up so vividly and wildly again. That was a freak of nature and science.”  
“I’m glad to see you’re not completely unfazed by how weird that was” Kirk smiled and nodded “I’m just thankful that wasn’t me. I mean, it was messy with you, but I would have been doing a whole lot more screaming. Actually I think we’re pretty similar.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. I just put a whole lot more yelling into the things I do.”  
“I could list you several other things, you do that are all rather illogical.”  
“What? Like any of the stuff you did was logical.”  
“At the time of my doing it had logic to it.”

They lent on the railing looking out to the stars.   
“What are you looking at anyway? Are you really delving into the illogicalness of star gazing?”  
“It is quiet illogical as from a distance the stars appearances do not change, and I could be doing any number of other things, this has been a one constant in my life, that I am more than content with. So yes, illogically I am stargazing.”  
“Nice. As long as your sure your okay?” Kirk asked gently touching the top of Spock's arm. Spock gazed out.  
“As long as thats the last time you ask me that question on this subject, I am fine.” Spock said giving only the slightest of glances. Jim stood for a second, the pad in his right hand, and one hand reaching out to gently grab Spock’s arm. The closest thing he could do to hugging him. His mouth opened for a second as he felt he should saying something, but as he tried he realised there was nothing he could say. Nothing that really needed to be said. His eyes reflected the stars from the abyss as he searched for something, on Spock’s features.  
“Thanks.”  
Jim nodded at his word giving his arm a final tap, as he pushed himself up from the railing, leaving Spock to the observation deck. His black shadow tall and firm against the grey tiles. Things were the same again and yet, with a sharp intake Spock realised, things would never be the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys- So this is how I'm ending it (actually wrote this chapter back in May, huh.)  
> I was aiming to have this hitting 25,000 words, but I think 20,000 is enough. This was my first fic so I wanna thank y'all lk 2 of u guys for your support and comments.  
> sorry if I yelled at you.  
> Also I'm sorry for my bad updating and for a while i didn't even try to write good chapter i just repeatedly hit the keyboard (which I have fixed now)  
> I'm not sure, If I have.. any followers.. if thats how this works? But if you can follow me go ahead, It'll be a while (I have so much todo) before I start another fic (which will be featured around Spock since he's my fav character)  
> I'm think transporter accident, animal transformation, or a dark gritty drama au.
> 
> Also I really like how people actually commented on this so, I'll be back for attention.   
> \- SO lke have a good halloween  
> also please do not get kidnapped by killer clowns.  
> and don't be one.  
> y'all can be batman tho. he chill.


End file.
